


Repercussions

by Schnickledooger



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: 02 kids included, Angst, Angst and Feels, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post Bokura no Mirai, Post Tri 6, basically if you enjoy Tai angst and concerned friends you'll love this, do not fear the dub names it does not deter from the writing, no beta we die like Leomon, you can read this even if you didnt watch Tri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schnickledooger/pseuds/Schnickledooger
Summary: There was an overwhelming sense of déjà vu.Even though it was four metal walls that entrapped him, not a smooth cylindrical sphere of glass, the situation was similar enough that in the farthest edge of his mind that hadn’t begun bubbling over in panic, Tai wondered why he hadn’t had a break down before this.It might have been possible to hold the image of a calm, rational person for just a few more minutes until the doors opened again.If it hadn’t been for the earthquake.Tai has a bit of PTSD he's secretly been harboring for the past three months.
Relationships: Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida & Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya, Nishijima Daigo & Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya, Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya & Ichijouji Ken
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	Repercussions

There was an overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

Even though it was four metal walls that entrapped him, not a smooth cylindrical sphere of glass, the situation was similar enough that in the farthest edge of his mind that hadn’t begun bubbling over in panic, Tai wondered why he hadn’t had a break down before this.

As small prickly tremors engulfed his entire body, he realized he had not once set foot in an elevator or any other enclosed spaces for the past three months since that fateful day. He didn’t remember actively doing so; just now, in this moment, his decisions to take the stairs at every opportunity may not have been him increasing his stamina and cardio for soccer like he had told everyone. Also, his refusal to clean his bedroom closet may not have just been teenage rebellion as his mother so claimed.

Still, Tai supposed he could have held it all together for a few more minutes until they had reached their floor. Even though all this newfound knowledge had not dawned on him until the second after the doors had closed with a hiss. Even though his heart had begun pounding so loudly in his chest he was sure the others could hear it, and his breath had caught in his throat so thick with terror he thought he would choke on it. He balled his hands into fists at his side so tightly he could feel his fingernails cutting into the skin of his palms. He bit down on his lip to stifle the low despairing moan that had threatened to spill forth.

As ridiculous as it was, there was a thread of normal concerns filtering through his panic. This was supposed to be good day; Izzy finally gained back access to his office and wanted to share it and the virtual cyberspace he had created for their Digimon with the younger kids. Tai couldn’t just collapse and withdraw from reality as much as he desired to do so. That would frighten Kari, whom after the last battle, didn’t need any more drama or worry over her brother than necessary. He didn’t want to alarm or remind Davis, Yolei and Cody that _why yes,_ you _were_ stuck inside a cryogenic chamber for several weeks and none of your friends barely noticed you were gone, but watch while your sempai steals the spotlight from you _again_ as he spirals into madness inside this narrow shaft of an elevator that resembled the same pod he had been forcibly confined within.

So Tai clenched his teeth, hoping his persistent shivering wasn’t visibly noticeable and thought perhaps he could hold the image of a calm, rational person for just a few more minutes until the doors opened again.

And it might have been possible.

If it hadn’t been for the earthquake.

It was Japan. They got earthquakes like the North Pole got snow. Some were catastrophic, but a great many were also like a random rain shower on the day you planned to have off: inconvenient at the most inappropriate times, but not life-threatening.

There was a rumbling sound, and the elevator shook and then stopped.

Then as if to purposefully ensure Tai was not going to escape this situation with his dignity intact, the panel lights flickered and then went dark.

The emergency lights kicked on immediately after, and Tai rather wished they hadn’t. They casted an eerie red glow on the cab’s passengers, causing the shadows appear to crawl down the walls and cling to their forms as if they wanted to devour them all.

Davis held his phone out with the flash turned on so that it illuminated the button panel. The buttons were each outlined by a bright orange ring. Davis pressed their intended floor button. They waited but nothing happened. The boy pressed it again. Then again, and again, and again. Then he alternated between a swift succession of jabs and punches accompanied by some colorful curses, but the elevator still refused to budge.

“Why don’t you press every single button and see what happens,” Yolei suggested dryly.

“Do you think it will work?” Davis asked, the sarcasm lost on him.

“Don’t you dare,” Kari said.

“I hope no one is claustrophobic,” Cody said. “It might be a while before the power comes back on.”

Tai resisted the urge to press himself into a corner. The shadows were the darkest there, waiting to engulf him. He concentrated on deep breaths trying to quiet his nerves, and rubbed a hand over his forehead which had begun to throb.

“Hopefully before we run out of air,” Yolei said, a smirk evident in her tone.

“What!” Davis yelped.

“Or the cables give out and we fall,” Kari added, joining in on the teasing.

_“What!”_

“Or we can use the emergency phone,” Cody pointed out, pressing a red button under a phone symbol lower on the panel.

They waited but no magical voice of assistance came floating through the speaker.

Cody struggled for composure as his face flared pink from embarrassment and anger. “This new building is not up to code and the people who designed it are cheapskates,” he spat in disgust.

“It’s ok! I’ll just call Izzy-sempai! He’ll rescue us!” Yolei chirped, pulling out her own phone and pressing a contact.

“Why don’t you just call 119?” Cody asked.

“Why would I do that when Izzy-sempai can get us out faster?” Yolei blinked owlishly at him from behind her glasses.

“Not to knock Izzy-sempai off his pedestal or anything, but I think Ken could give him a run for his money,” Davis bragged, folding his arms across his chest. “And what’s it going to look like for you two, if his _girlfriend_ ,” he gagged at the word as if he was still coming to terms with his best friend’s choice of relationship, “calls some other tech-savvy guy before him?”

Yolei gaped at him, her face draining of color as her glasses slipped down the bridge of her nose. “Ah, Izzy-sempai!” she cried when her call connected. “I’m sorry, hang up! I don’t need you! What?” she paused for a minute listening then shrieked as someone else’s voice traveled over the phone. “K-Ken! You’re there now too?! This isn’t what it sounds like! You’re both very proficient and I can’t choose between the two of you, don’t make me! It’s unfair! What? Of course, I’m alright!”

Kari sighed and grabbed the phone from her. “We’re all fine. We were in the elevator when the earthquake hit and now we’re stuck. Is everyone up there okay?”

Eventually their voices faded into oblivion, swallowed up by the shadows that were rapidly expanding. Did they not see them? Did they not fill the chill in this small space that set Tai’s teeth on edge and his shivering which had become so violent he was certain his very bones were rattling.

“It’s cold,” he mumbled, his own voice sounded muffled to his ears. There was ice under his skin, snaking deeper inside, numbing him all the way to his heart. His head felt like he was swimming, like that spot between awake and sleep where reality slips away…

_The instant the cryopod sealed shut the glass had started to freeze over—a fine sheen of miniscule ice crystals began forming a pattern across the glass; the first stage to eventually send its occupant into hibernation._

_Tai pounded on the glass, shouting frantically for Nishijima to open the door, that he wouldn’t go without him, but he couldn’t see into that dark room. Beyond the glass, there was only blackness muted by the soft glow of the computer consoles: blues and grays and… red._

_Red like the color that had stained the white of Nishijima’s shirt, dripping to the ground where he had slouched and gathering in sticky, glistening puddles._

A touch on his arm was enough to jerk Tai out from his waking nightmare and he snapped his attention to the person before him and found himself gazing into the worried face of his sister.

“Tai you don’t look too well. Are you feeling sick?” Kari asked, putting a soft hand to his forehead. “You’re all clammy.”

He never had to time to think of some flimsy excuse or outright lie by the saving grace of the elevator shuddering and rising a couple of feet in a feeble attempt to start. Eventually, it decided lifting its own weight was a rather tiresome ordeal and dropped back down where it had previously been stuck, sending all five of its passengers sprawling to the floor.

Ken’s voice could be heard coming out of Yolei’s phone in a concerned manner. Everyone slowly clambered to their feet seeming dizzy but no worse for wear except a couple of bruises and one other minor injury.

“Ooowww!” Davis moaned, blinking back tears of pain as he gingerly touched his nose which had begun to spew out a hot fountain of red liquid all down the front of his chest. “Aw, man, not the flame-shirt! I _hate_ elevators!”

Tai stared at him, the sound of his heartbeat roaring madly in his ears; the ice buried in his veins sung fiercely as it threatened to freeze him where he stood.

_Brown eyes beneath a fringe of dark hair softened as they saw their student approach alive and unharmed. “You’re alright,” Nishijima breathed in relief. “I’m so glad.”_

_The man’s shirt was soaked with blood, so much of it that it oozed in tiny pools around him. His face was splattered with the red substance, his hair caked with it. Even the words he spoke came broken with so much effort put behind them that it told what great pain he must be in._

_But Nishijima’s face shone in happiness at the sight of him._

_Like it hadn’t been Tai’s fault they both had tumbled into the yawning maw of the abyss and ended up in this hopeless situation._

A horrible keening wail erupted from the depths of his throat as he flung himself against the closed doors, fingernails clawing futilely across the smooth metal. His lungs constricted within his chest as a tight band of anxiety coiled around him. He heard his own breath escaping in desperate, hitching pants as he pounded his fists against his cage’s walls. It almost blocked out the buzz of voices swarming around his head, but a few phrases drifted through the veil of madness that had swamped his senses.

“…what’s wrong with…”

“…calm down, please…”

“…going on in there…?”

“…won’t listen… don’t know…”

Someone may have touched him, he vaguely remembered a light pressure on his shoulder, but Tai shrugged whoever it was off and snarled viciously at them, conjuring up Agumon in his mind’s eye as he did so. 

He continued pounding and prying at the closed doors until his fingertips were scraped raw and his knuckles were beaten bloody. At some point, his vision had grown blurry and sobs were hiccupping hysterically out of his mouth, but he couldn’t stop. If he could just _get out_ , if he could just open the _damn doors_ , then, then… then what?

Nishijima was already dead.

Tai’s knees gave out as this final, cruel realization cut through the web of panic ensnaring him. He slumped to the floor in defeat, his fingers leaving faint red smudges on the doors as they trailed down. He rested his aching head against his knees and heard the violent clattering of his teeth as the shivering shook his entire body. Beads of moisture welled up in the corners of his eyes and trickled down his cheeks. The ice under his skin was thawing, melting into a slow-flowing river of slush and he was sinking into it.

He hoped it was deep enough to drown his shame.

oOo

It was the sound of a girl’s high-pitched voice rising shrilly out of thin air that drew Matt’s attention away from searching his brother for any noticeable injuries received when the minor quake had occurred. There was really no need to worry; all the building had done was shake like a half-broken washing machine for a couple of seconds before all was quiet again. Mostly everyone had been sitting down eating snacks the small office had provided, his brother being the exception of course. Luckily, Matt had caught him by the arm and hauled him backwards onto the sofa before he lost his balance. T.K. was fine, only a bit exasperated since he had narrowly avoided tumbling into Joe’s lap. Mimi and Sora had been sitting on the seats directly opposite—they appeared initially shaken but soon were laughing it off. There were no other girls in the room so where was that shrieking coming from?

He looked across the office and saw Izzy holding his cell phone as far away from his ear as possible with a grimace etched on his face. Ken stood behind him looking utterly baffled. The two had been messing around on the several computer screens stretched along the desk doing who knows what—perhaps hacking into the National Data Processing Bureau’s top secret files. Even though it wasn’t entirely their fault with how the past events had transpired, they still shouldered some of the blame. They would probably be better off actually if Izzy decided to read the rest of their other confidential files and give them some pointers.

“I can’t understand what she’s saying,” Izzy sighed before handing the phone over to Ken.

“Yolei, are you okay? Were you hurt by the earthquake? Where are you?” Ken asked. There was a brief pause as he listened to the reply before explaining to everyone. “It’s Yolei and Kari. They were on the elevator when the quake hit and now it’s stuck.”

“Aha!” Izzy exclaimed. “That’s an automatic failsafe when the building loses power. There may be a glitch in the system if energy isn’t being redirected back into the electric accumulators though. Hold on, I can fix this!” Izzy turned to his collection of screens and his face drooped. “Ugh, a few seconds of no power and they’ve shut off. Tell her it won’t be long. I have to wait ‘til they’ve rebooted. Crappy pieces of techno-junk, newest models, yeah right,” he could be heard angrily muttering.

“Is Tai with them?” Matt asked coming to stand closer.

In the past two months, everything had seemed normal concerning Tai. His friend smiled, cracked jokes, teased his own sister and T.K. endlessly on when they were going call it official; never attended Matt’s concerts but would almost always be there at every rehearsal if only to steal his guitar to belt out some horrible serenade that would send his bandmates into a laughing frenzy enough that they would lose all focus and Matt ended up throwing him out.

It was just the little things Matt had noticed: the way he applied himself more seriously into his studies; how he worked out more—to up his soccer game so he claimed—yet his teammates had told Matt he had stepped down from captain and asked to be put on second string. T.K. told him he had heard from Kari that Tai had begun going to cram school at night. What goal was he striving towards? What was going on in his head? These things Matt desired to know, but Tai never gave him a straight answer. In all honesty, Matt was simply glad his friend hadn’t died like they all thought, that he didn’t press too hard. His friend was changing and he was going to have to accept that. He just hoped he would continue to play a major part in Tai’s life on the path he carved for himself.

A chorus of alarmed cries erupted from the other end suddenly before silence fell. Ken had started shouting into the phone asking what had happened. Matt found himself holding his breath. Finally someone answered.

“The elevator started up again but then it dropped a couple of feet,” Cody’s winded voice said.

“My bad,” Izzy chuckled sheepishly as he typed something into the keyboard. “But seriously, whoever designed this electrical system deserves to be court-martialed.”

That’s when the truly most-horrifying, gut-wrenching scream surged forth from the phone and crashed over everyone in chilling wave of anguish and despair. Matt’s head jerked upright as his eyes locked with Izzy’s and they both thought with a familiar, blinding clarity: _Tai._

There were other noises in the background but they were all muffled out by Tai’s hideous wails that cracked down the middle half-way followed by a dull, repetitive thumping.

“What’s going on in there?” Matt demanded as fear of the unknown loomed large in his mind.

What could have possibly happened to cause Tai to scream like that? Had Kari been injured?

“I don’t know,” Cody’s voice sounded small and scared. Whatever he was seeing, it was visibly upsetting for him. “Taichi-sempai just started screaming. He’s… beating at the doors.”

“Izzy!” Matt snapped. “Hurry up!”

“I’m working on it!” Izzy shot back, his face several shades paler than earlier.

Matt refused to stand around forced to listen to his friend’s audible distress though. With a sharp turn, he raced across the room to the door, slamming the release button and bolting through the entry when the door slid back with a hiss. The fall of his own footsteps echoed down the hallway as he ran, coming to a skidding halt in front of the two elevators, the one on the left showing a glaring red circle above it indicating it was in use. His head took a second later to catch up with his feet and he paused… before launching himself at the sealed doors and attempting to wedge it open with his bare hands. No such luck. Raw strength had never been his forte. But Tai was trapped in torment in there and he couldn’t just _do nothing._

“Come on!” he shouted in frustration, pounding on the doors over and over harshly enough that if he continued for awhile, the danger of spraining both wrists would be very real.

“Matt, step away, I got it!” Izzy called as he hurried towards them, the others following behind him.

The circle above the elevator switched from red to green and beyond the doors, the groan of electric cables was heard as the cab began its ascent.

Matt stepped back to join his friends and together they waited with bated breath until the elevator finally reached their floor.

 _Ding!_ Went the merry blip announcing its arrival.

 _Hiss,_ sneered the doors as they slid back at long last releasing their captives.

Cody stared back at them wide eyed still clutching the phone to his ear.

Davis ran the sleeve of his arm across his nose that was dribbling red fluid in a vain attempt to stop the blood loss and sniffed loudly.

Yolei and Kari were bent over a small hunched figure who was squatting on the back of his heels and trembling violently. His face was buried in his knees and raw red scabs scattered over the backs of his knuckles that were curled into fists digging into the elevator’s floor.

Tai lifted his head and brown eyes that were dull, glazed over in distress, seemed to slide past his audience to focus on nothing in particular.

The elevator doors started to close again and Davis swung out one soiled sleeve and pushed one side back with a snarl. It seemed to set everyone back into motion. Cody all but jumped over the cab’s threshold and let out a shaky breath. Yolei and Kari whispered a few coaxing words and hauled Tai to his feet. He swayed slightly between them, limp and unresisting, and together they tottered unsteadily out.

Matt stared at his friend wondering which was worse: those awful, piteous screams or this unnatural silence as Tai gazed uncomprehending at Izzy when he asked what was wrong.

Joe suggested they all go back to the office where he could attend to everyone’s injuries and they explain everything there. The group started back the way they had come with everyone’s nerves still on edge…

Matt saw it in slow-motion: Tai stumbling off-balance, Davis reaching out one hand to secure him; Tai reeling backwards at the sight of him as if repulsed. Then without warning, his friend bolted off down the hallway.

Everyone was too surprised to react immediately. It was only when he tripped again and fell to one knee to avoid face-planting headfirst into the hard flooring that roused their sensibilities into action.

Sora got there first. “Tai,” she spoke softly, laying her hand on his back.

Tai jerked faintly and threw himself forward away from her touch, staggering a few more feet until he had reached the floor-to-ceiling glass window at the end of the hall. He crowded against it, resting his forehead against the thick pane. His chest was heaving as he breathed rapidly. A cool sheen of sweat glistened visibly on his skin as everyone drew closer. He eyed them warily as if they were unrecognizable strangers.

If Matt wasn’t worried before, he certainly was now. Whatever Tai was going through, it was so much more than a little scare of being stuck in an elevator.

Joe stepped forward though he made no move to touch him. “Let’s go back to the office, Tai,” he said, his voice calm and level. “You’re dehydrated. You need water.”

It was a good excuse as any and not entirely false as Tai licked his dry lips at the mention of water. However, he made no effort to leave the window, crouching defensively in front of it as if they might try and drag him away. His brown eyes shone with a fierce, desperate panic as if he were silently pleading for them to all just leave him alone.

Joe eyed him one moment longer, then sighed and turned away.

“Come on,” he said, motioning to Davis. “Let’s get that nose-job of yours patched up. There’s a first aid kit in the office.”

“But, what about Taichi-sempai?” Davis protested as he was steered away. He craned his neck backwards, trying to see.

“Let’s give him some space for right now,” Joe said quietly. “That goes for all of you. Understand?” He shot knowing looks at Kari and Matt.

Kari swallowed hard and nodded as she followed reluctantly, casting fleeting, worried looks behind her.

“Matt,” Joe said, his voice deeper with a hint of a reprimand when he made no move to leave.

Matt ignored him, his eyes boring into Tai as if willing to get his friend’s attention, but Tai had pressed his cheek into the glass and closed his eyes, his tense posture seeming to relax as the sunlight streamed through the window and washed down upon his upturned face.

“Joe’s right,” Izzy said coming up beside him. “If we try and confront him right now, he’ll just break down again.” 

The memory of Tai’s screams: the hysterical tenor and pitch, the sheer despair that ripped from his vocal cords would forever haunt him nightmares, Matt thought. He never wanted to hear those sounds come from Tai again. Shoulders slumping in defeat, he turned and trailed behind the others until they all had settled in the office where explanations were soon to be had.

“I didn’t think Tai was claustrophobic,” Mimi said once the story was recounted.

“I did notice him taking the stairs every time we went home, but I believed him about keeping up his stamina for soccer. I should have realized with him starting cram school, he didn’t have soccer practice anymore,” Kari said, looking ashamed of herself.

“It wasn’t that.”

Everyone turned to Cody who had spoken. The boy’s eyes narrowed as he recalled the incident.

“Taichi-sempai didn’t start beating at the doors until after he saw Davis’ bloody nose.” He locked eyes with Matt. “You saw it too—in the hallway—when Davis tried to steady him. It was the blood that triggered him.”

The children were silent for a few seconds as they took this new revelation in.

An elevator and a bloody nose.

An enclosed space and blood.

Trapped and blood.

Matt felt sick when he finally connected the dots and disgusted at himself for not realizing sooner.

“Did they ever find Nishijima’s body?” Sora asked in a hushed tone.

“Negative,” Izzy said with a pained expression. “Wherever that place was that held you all captive,” he cast eyes over the younger children, “it was blown to smithareens. No one left there could have survived it.”

“Does Tai ever talk about what happened?” T.K. asked Kari softly.

Kari shook her head. “I just know what he told the rest of us: Nishijima was wounded but he saved him and all of you,” she aimed a wobbly smile at Yolei and the rest of her friends.

“The NDPB said they found all of you in cryopods,” Izzy said. “But none of you remember how you came to be in them, correct?”

There was a disgruntled chorus of “no’s”.

Izzy had an odd glint in his eyes. “I think Tai remembers,” he said, a frown etching between his eyebrows. “And I don’t think he stepped in there of his own volition ready to be sent back to the real world with Nishijima wounded.”

“He tricked him,” Matt said and he suddenly everything made sense now.

Nishijima had trapped his student inside the cryopod because he too knew full well what a hopeless fool Tai was in never abandoning anyone who needed help, who thought it was possible to save everyone no matter how dire the circumstances, even at risk at losing his own life in the process.

“The cryopods were translucent,” Davis spoke up. He didn’t remember his time spent in one, but he remembering groggily waking up and getting a good look at one later. “If Taichi-sempai was trapped in one and could see out…” he lifted the hem of his shirt that had been dyed red with blood-stains.

Mimi was the only one daring enough to say what they were all thinking out loud.

“He died right in front of him, didn’t he?” her voice was quiet and quivery.

Now Matt found himself feeling eternally grateful towards Joe who had forced them all to give Tai space, although he wasn’t sure what words of comfort he could give his friend later when his head had cleared. There was no one in this room who could relate to what Tai had been through…

“Hey,” Yolei spoke up as her eyes darted around. “Where’s Ken?”

oOo

Tai had long ago slumped to the floor in front of the glass windowpane, letting the warmth of the sun’s rays ease the stiffness out of his back. The panic had since fled his mind and now coming off his adrenalin high, he felt drained and exhausted. Every single muscle in his body felt like a limp spaghetti noodle. He was out of breath, like he had run a 5K marathon, and desperately wanted some water, but that would mean getting up, facing his friends, and apologizing for his major freak-out that they didn’t understand. Or worse, they _did_ —no doubt they were vivisecting every detail of his panic attack—and now were pitying him. They would be walking on eggshells around him for who knows how long instead of berating him for being the main factor of their teacher’s untimely demise.

A shadow fell over him as he dwelled upon these things and he lifted his weary head to see Ken standing there.

There was no pity of any kind imprinted on his countenance, rather his face was set in stone and a cold familiarity was gleaming from his violet eyes as he spoke a firm, unyielding truth:

“There is absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent what happened.”

“I know,” Tai said staring up at him.

He already had come to terms with this fact. It still didn’t stop the numerous what-if scenarios that played in his head every night.

If he had just run a little faster, he wouldn’t have fallen into the gaping chasm and Nishijima wouldn’t have dived in after him in that foolish hero-like fashion they both possessed.

They both could have fit inside the cryopod right? There had been enough room. Sure, they would have been cramped, but they both could have made it out and Nishijima could have gotten the medical attention he needed.

Sometimes he even fantasized about punching Gennai or whatever doppelganger was impersonating him to a squashed pulp until he was confessing his guts out about an alternative exit strategy.

“Nishijima decided his own fate. You shouldn’t blame yourself for someone else’s choices,” Ken said, and there was the slightest hitch between breaths as if he had only started believing this advice not too long ago.

“Does that mean he got to decide mine?” Tai spat, buried anger suddenly rearing its ugly head as he remembered the utter hopelessness and cruel reality crash down upon him trapped in the cryopod when he realized he would never get the door open, never reach Nishijima in time.

Ken’s stone face softened, his lips twitching in what might have been an almost-smile before he pursed them back into a thin line. “What he did, he did because he cared about you, enough to put your life before his, even when he knew you would refuse to leave him behind because of the person you are. That’s why he chose for you.”

_The digital clock inside the cryopod had begun its countdown. Tai hammered away against the glass with his fists but it refused to budge. His frantic yells for Nishijima to open the door, that they could find another way out, there was always another way out, went unheeded._

_Nishijima’s voice crackled over the cryopod’s speaker soothing and gentle, like a parent comforting their frightened child in the throes of a nightmare._

_“I’m sorry, Tai, but if only one of us can go back to the human world, it has to be you. It has to be.”_

Perhaps he believed Tai would set things straight, and perhaps his presence had assisted his friends in destroying Ordinemon and prevented another Reboot from occurring, but Meiko had still lost her partner and the world feared Digimon more than ever.

Somehow, it all just made Nishijima’s sacrifice completely unjustified.

Ken settled down on the floor beside him keeping a good arms-length away. A somber expression crept onto his face as spoke next. “It hurts… losing people. You have to understand… whatever choice he made… he didn’t want you to be there at the very end to see when he…” Ken trailed off, his eyes growing distant for a moment, before flickering to Tai. “He wanted to protect you.”

Tai was silent, too tired to find any flaws in Ken’s reasoning. There probably weren’t any and arguing with people like him and Izzy, you could never win. Dimly, he was aware Ken wasn’t just talking about Nishijima, that he had come to have this talk between them because he could relate to Tai’s loss. Ken had never told anyone the full story of how his brother had died, not even Davis, but from the manner in which he was speaking now, it seemed he had blamed himself for good long while before.

_Tai had stopped his futile pounding on the glass. Now he just stood inside the cryopod shivering in shock watching the ice form over the glass and the clock’s countdown reach the point of no return. There was only a few more seconds left, that was all. Just a few more seconds before the cryopods would launch to who knows where. Just a few more seconds for Nishijima to draw in his final breaths and he wasted it by speaking to him._

_“You just have to do the very thing that you guys taught me to do: to never give up. To believe that no matter how bad things get there’s always hope. I think I understand that now, always hope. I have to stay. You have to go.”_

_“I can’t!” Tai cried._

_Not like this, not like this!_

_“Yes, you can,” Nishijima said, a faint brush of laughter in his tone. “You have to help your friends,” he declared with an air of certainty as if he knew this one simple fact would be what it took to stop Tai’s protests._

_The clock was winding down to the few fatal moments._

_Tai did stop if only to be respectful and hear out the man’s last words even if they rang untruthful in his own ears._

_There past the sheet of ice encasing the cryopod’s interior, on the glass separating the cryochamber from the computer consule room, came a bloodied hand out of the darkness, raised upwards in a wave of goodbye, before forming into a fist reaching out toward him._

_Then the fist uncurled and the hand dropped limply out of sight._

_Static crackled emptily over the speaker._

_Tai was screaming but no one was there to hear it._

_The cryopod engulfed him in its icy embrace and Tai fell into the cool relief of unconsciousness._

“Does the pain… ever go away?” Tai asked.

“No,” Ken was starkly blunt in response, although his voice softened as he explained. “It just numbs over time. You’ll have good days where you forget and laugh, and you’ll have bad days where you remember and cry, and that’s alright. You cry because it hurts and you cared and it’s only natural to grieve.” He leveled a cool gaze at Tai like was seeing past him, straight into his deeply guarded thoughts. “But what you must never do is to feel guilt over being happy even when they are gone. They wouldn’t want that. They would want you to go on living, accomplishing all the things they saw you capable of even when you couldn’t see it for yourself.”

There was a lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away. Tai felt the warmth of tears sliding down his cheeks and turned his head away so he wouldn’t subject Ken to the crying mess he had become. He let them fall, too tired to fight against them and the onslaught of emotions swirling around in his chest.

Finally, when he felt he could speak without his voice cracking, he unleashed a drawn-out, shaky breath and wiped an arm across his face. “Why is it so damn hard to live up to people’s expectations?” he rasped out hoarsely.

Ken let out a light chuckle at that. “Don’t you wish we had half the faith in ourselves that the ones who believe in us do?”

They shared a few moments of silence, with Tai basking in Ken’s presence finding it as warm and soothing as the sun that streamed through the window behind them.

“Well…” Tai said at last. “I guess we can’t disappoint them now, can we?”

“Hmm,” Ken hummed in agreement. “That would be a disservice to their memory. All we can do is keep moving forward.”

Tai thought about Nishijima and how calm he had been in his final moments as if he had made peace with himself and the world that had dealt him such an unfair blow. He thought about how his teacher had been fond of donuts and remarking how brilliant his students’ calligraphy was even when the brush strokes looked like blotted out chicken-scratch. He thought about how Nishijima must have felt when he realized he couldn’t save Himekawa from her own self, so he had resolved to help the children set in his path to not become lost souls like her.

He thought it wouldn’t be so bad a life choice to step into his former teacher’s shoes and continue helping others and perhaps change people’s minds about Digimon in the meantime.

He thought about Meiko, wondering how she was dealing with all that had happened, and made a decision to call her later.

A collective pattering of feet on the flooring made Tai lift his eyes to see that the rest of his friends had returned and had come to a stop a few feet away, their faces tentative and concerned.

Tai quirked his mouth into a small, genuine smile and the tension lingering in the air seemed to dissolve as they smiled back in relief. He smacked his dry lips, feeling like he had depleted his body’s water supply by all that crying. “I’ll take that water now,” he told Joe.

oOo

Later in Izzy’s office, with his friends gathered around him and Joe bandaging Tai’s bruised fingers and scabbed knuckles, he shared with them Nishijima’s last words.

_“You kids are the future. Your generation will write the next chapter, maybe for the entire world. Maybe for the Digital World too. So… dream big. I believe in you.”_

Maybe, for the first time in three months he started to believe it was true.

_Owari~_

**Author's Note:**

> So the new reboot engulfed me in Digifeels and I wanted to write something, but as there’s no real plot yet in the new series, only beautiful character interaction and friendship, I decided to write out this plot bunny that I had ever since the last Tri movie.
> 
> I know Tri wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but if you decided to read this without ever watching any of the movies, I hope you still enjoyed it and took away the message I tried to portray. Also, panic attacks are real and not a joke. I’ve had a couple, mostly due to stress, and let me tell you, the freak out and shutting down is real. I don’t know for other people, but for me, I need to be alone when that happens. I need time to recover mentally not have anyone hovering nearby. So don’t get all mad at the kids leaving Tai like that in the hallway. 
> 
> I always thought Tai might have a little bit of PTSD after watching Nishijima die like that and just ugh, the guilt complex he carries is huge. I mean, look how spectacularly he cracked in 01 over Kari with years of pent up guilt. Plus, I just wanted to write Tai angst, I admit. There is so much potential for him and Ken to bond I wonder why more fics haven’t been written about it. They both thought the Digital World was a video game, they both made Digimon digivolve incorrectly, they both have Sibling Complexes and Angst. This was the perfect opportunity. 
> 
> I tried to fit the Digimon partners in this, I did. But I figured with Agumon there, Tai would have held it all together better and not be as forthcoming, so um, they’re somewhere. Maybe the earthquake knocked out the servers to the virtual room or something.
> 
> Anyway, I did enjoy Tri for the most part, although I do think they could have fit the 02 kids in like the last few movies, come on. The gang isn’t complete without them! 
> 
> Oh yeah, if you want to review and don’t know what to say, I love hearing what your favorite parts were, what made your heart race, what destroyed your souls, etc. 
> 
> P.S. Do you know how many times I had to watch Nishijima DIE to write the flashback scenes?! Do you know the amount of trauma I went through?!


End file.
